


Reporting A Crime

by KurtPikachu2001



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtPikachu2001/pseuds/KurtPikachu2001
Summary: Cleveland reports a robbery. Joe, Quagmire, and Peter respond in a way no one can imagine.





	Reporting A Crime

A Monty Python skit done with Family Guy characters! Thought a Family Guy fanfic would look good on my profile! 

Family Guy

Reporting A Crime

By: Trenton Sands

At the Quahog Police Dept. Cleveland enters and Joe is at the desk.

Cleveland: Good evening, I wish to report a robbery.

Joe: What?

Cleveland: (Speaking up: I wish to report a robbery.)

Joe: Speak a little louder.

Cleveland: (Shouting): I wish TO report A robbery!!!

Joe: Speak lower.

Cleveland: (calming down): I wish to report a robbery.

Joe: Nope, still not getting anything. Can you speak in a high  
register?

Cleveland: What do you mean, 'high register'?

Joe: What?

Cleveland: (in a high pitched voice): I wish TO REPORT A robbery!!

Joe: That's it! A little higher!

Cleveland: (Still in a high pitched voice): I wish TO REPORT A robbery!

Joe: A what?

Cleveland: ROBBERY!!

Joe: That's the exact frequency, keep it up!

Quagmire walks in.

Quagmire: (In a high pitched voice): Hello, Joe!

Joe: (In a deep monotoned voice): Morning Quagmire!

Cleveland starts to explain what he's seen in a high pitched voice.

Cleveland: (still speaking in a high pitched voice): I WAS JUST  
COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM, AND THEN I SAW A DOG AND BABY AND A GANG OF TEENAGERS RUNNING OUT OF A BANK WITH $5000 STOLEN!!!!

Joe: I'm afraid I'm going off duty now, talk to Quagmire. (Joe walks  
out of the room, and Quagmire comes to the desk and listens to Cleveland's  
story.)

Cleveland: (Still talking in a high-pitched voice.) I WAS JUST COMING  
OUT OF THE BATHROOM, AND......

Quagmire: (interrupting): Excuse me sir, but why the funny voice?

Cleveland: Oh, I'm sorry I got used to that talking to the Joe.

Quagmire: Speak in a lower register.

Cleveland: (In a low-deep voice): I wish to report the lost of $5000!

Quagmire: $5000! That's serious! You better talk to the Detective  
Inspector, Peter.

Joe walks back in the room, and Peter comes up to Cleveland.

Peter: (In a deep voice): What seems to be the trouble, Sargent  
Quagmire?

Quagmire: (In a fast voice like an auctioneers): This black man here just reported  
that he walked out of the bathroom and saw a dog and a baby and some accomplices run  
out of a bank and said that there was $5000 stolen!

Peter: I see. Where do you live?

Cleveland: 121 Hollyrow Road on the Corner of 21st street.

Quagmire repeats the address in a fast voice like an auctioneers.

Joe: (In a high pitched voice): He just reported a robbery, Sargent!

Peter talks in an incomprehensibly fast voice about the robbery to Joe, who  
talks in a high pitched voice which, too in inaudible.

Quagmire: (Walking up to Joe & Peter, in a squeaky voice): THIS IS  
POINTLESS!!!

Joe: (In a slow dull voice): I must've been somebody else.

Peter: (On the phone): Thank you, Sargent! Don't worry sir, we'll get  
this done right away!

Cleveland just stands there confused.

Joe: (High pitched voice): You think I'm stupid, Sargent!

Quagmire: (In a fast voice): We should call the SWAT cars!

Peter: (In a slow voice): Good idea.

Joe (On a microphone, singing): CALLING ALL SWAT CARS IN THE AREA!!!!

A scene changes to Meg on stage. Talking in a deep demonic voice.

Meg: I THINK THAT WAS IN VERY BAD TASTE!

THE END


End file.
